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But I really want this girl!
No, this is exactly the wrong attitude. If she is your only prospect, the one
you're thinking about day and night, you keep playing different scenarios of
approaching her and making her like you in your mind over and over again -
that's called desperation. And it'll show. She's gonna see it (consciously or
subconsciously) and nothing repels girls more than a desperate guy. That's why
you have to be chasing multiple girls at any given time, so if one of them gives
you trouble, the heck with her, you have other girls wanting to be down with
you:)
But the really good part is this - the ones giving you trouble can sense
instantly that you're not phased by it, you're displaying none of the usual
signs of despair, heart-ache, supplication etc. You just don't give a damn, you
just don't have time to give a damn, you're got too much action going on
elsewhere. Guess what?:) This is exactly what suddenly makes you desirable in
their eyes:) Mystery: "Notice how a man who gets girls gets MORE girls
while a man who has nothing continues to get nothing?".
A standard question in ASF: "I really-really want this girl, she is so
special, what can I do to make her want me!?"
A standard answer in ASF: "Make love to at least 10 other girls, then see
if you still want this girl and think she is so special:)"
Update. Mr Happy, ASF: "Do not ever fixate on
any one woman, it turns her off. To lay her, she must believe that you like to
fuck women, that you would like to fuck her, but that you don't NEED her because
you have all kinds of women all over you.
[The good way to gain such an attitude is to] go out and approach 12 women a
day, 4 days/nights a week. That's 48 women a week. Your skills will undergo
massive improvement with such practice. You should always be able to blow off
any woman to go pick up another one. If you won't put in the effort, you will
not get the results. And if you won't even put in the effort, then you are a
pussy and evolution is weeding you out. If you DO put in the effort, you WILL
improve and get great results."
Update. Allen Thompson, Don Juan newsletter:
"Obsessing about a particular girl, and whether or not she likes you, is
the KISS OF DEATH! If you're worrying about whether a girl likes you or not,
chances are she doesn't - or rather, SHE WON'T. She won't because your
"worry" and your obsession with what she thinks of you will actually
push her away. When you let yourself fall into the "obsession" trap,
you begin to analyze everything your dream girl does, every word she says, every
move she makes... and try to relate them all to you. She smiled at you - she
didn't smile at you. She emailed you - she didn't email you. She returned your
call - she didn't return your call. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety
result."
And not just for you. If she comes to know that you're obsessing about her, she
will also know, that you'll be analysing her every move in relation to you.
Which will invariably make her uncomfortable. She can't be herself anymore, she
can't relax and feel free in your proximity/company. Knowing that you're
obsessing, she will feel anxiety, discomfort and maybe even fear when you're
around. And on all occasions, she will want to get away, further away from the
source of her anxiety, further away from you.
Well, but there's this rather slight and slim possibility, that she's also
obsessing about you, right? I mean, people sometimes do end up with people who
have initially been obsessed about them, and they live happily ever after,
right? Yeah right, in fairy-tales they do. In real life however, if you want
her, do something, anything, preferably of course something suggested elsewhere
in this guide, and quick. But once you let yourself become obsessed and act
under the influence of that - you're doomed. And this is also where the standard
ASF suggestion of "spend some intimite time with ten other girls before you
get back to this "special" girl again" stems from. Because once
you're accomplished that, you'll ease up on the obsession, you will feel relaxed
and comfortable (and as moods are contagious, so will she), she in turn will be
more comfortable about getting close to you, and now that you're filled with
calm confidence ("heck, even if she doesn't dig me enuff, I've just been
with ten girl and can get laid at will anyway, so let's just have fun with
this") you will be able to handle her more proficiently etc.
See also:
Dealing with rejection
Falling in love vs being a player
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